Friday, January 03, 2014

My First Selfie

The first selfie I ever clicked is the profile picture you see on this blog. It was taken sometime in October 2005, for the purpose of starting this blog. Wonder why the selfie should be in news now, when people have long been familiar with the pleasures and horrors of circulating self-clicked pictures.

I may have forgotten the date this picture was taken, but I still remember the sensations. It was one of those pleasant evenings, during my girlfriend-less days, when I would find great pleasure in the company of my newly-purchased laptop and was still discovering the joys of being online from home.

Laptops those days did not come with inbuilt cameras, but Airtel had given me a free plastic webcam along with the internet connection. It wasn't the best of webcams, but it worked just fine. One evening, realising that the setting was near perfect for a picture -- I always write with lights off, except a lamp with yellow light by my side -- I decided to click myself. I had shaved that day and was wearing my favourite grey T-shirt. For effect, I lit up a cigarette. I pressed a key of the laptop and the webcam captured a picture.

I was happy with the result. The focus of subdued yellow light, in a darkened room, can do wonders to one's looks and -- I believe -- one's thought process too. That reminds me, this blog, when I started it, was called Thought Process. How cliched -- and idiotic. After a few months I changed the title to what it is today.

But the profile picture remains the same -- my first-ever selfie -- even though eight years have passed since I clicked it. I haven't had the heart to change it for a variety of reasons. One, I still don't want to believe that I look very different from how I look in that picture -- who wants to willingly surrender to the progression of life. Two, that picture serves as a reminder of the best days of my life. It was under the glow of that lamp, and in the company of that plastic webcam, that I became a writer. To replace that picture with a high-resolution image, now that I have the means, would amount to disowning my humble past.

I shall change the picture the day I find myself looking drastically different from the man in that image. It is a bad thing to lie to the reader. I only hope that day doesn't come very soon.


Anubhuti said...

Co incidently, mine too is. My first, clicked post a flattering hair-cut. Although only four years ago.

Anonymous said...


you must be in a real state of confusion. sometime u say , ' now I am not what I was in 34 and u claim u wonder the way u thought and wrotethen . and now u say u dont want to disown your humble past. According to me( I know u only through ur writings) u radiated a very positive energy irrespective of wht topic you choose to write then and do have that simplicity and openness in you and in your writing and hence you really SPARKLE..


Unknown said...

On the Ganga Mail, By the Ganges, Thought Process ......what's in a name? I don't think Thought Process sounds idiotic.

Desi Babu said...

My blog photograph is also a selfie.

I was meditating on the bank of the Alaknanda, when a foreign tourist tried to click my image. In a split second, I did a trans-body exchange of spirits -- I was in his body, and he was in mine. Then, as he opened his eyes in bewilderment, and smiled a toothless grin with my own face, I snapped him. Within a second of that, we exchanged our spirits again.

Since I had smoked quite a bit of Lord Shiva's favorite leaf on that day, I am not sure about the veracity of the above story, but then, we are among friends here, right? :-)

Hari Om!

Anubhuti said...

Had read it in a rush that day and have not had the time to read it since. Love the second last paragraph.Honestly, you look even better now.

Anonymous said...

I know you are busy with your book but I would request you to not ignore your blog... you need to be more regular here to finish your book soon!

Jhilmill pathak said...

Ghosh ji , if i may, I would like to know the story behind the change in the name of your blog .
What made you change it from what it was before?
Also the idea of sticking to the roots of your past to keep yourself humble enough is really so good but changing your dp may not necessarily signify you “disowning your humble past “ would it ? :)