Thursday, October 25, 2007


"Why don't you straightaway say I look fat? When did you last see me? Five years? Ok, four. That's a long time. That time I was a woman who was clueless about life. Now I am happily married.

"Of course you called me fat. What else does pleasantly plump mean? Anyway, Indian men like plump women only.

"Plump in the right places? God, you've no shame or what! Talking to me like that?! Anyway, let's not discuss me. I am what I am, ok? My husband loves me this way. Any problem?

"He has gone to Chandigarh for a couple of days. He was on the line before you called. Such a sweetheart he is, calls me every two hours: 'Darling, did you have your lunch?' 'Darling, are you missing me?' Such a sweetheart!

"Ok, you tell me now. Why haven't you got married yet. Still chasing women, eh? Do you even remember how many you have slept with?

"What do you mean by nonsense! The whole world knew what I kind of a character you are. Mr Flirt!

"You never tried it with me? What rubbish! It was me who kept you at an arm's length. If there was one guy who I would not be seen dead with -- that was you! Such a rogue!

"Ok, ok, fine. Won't talk about all that. So tell me, why no marriage yet? You could have easily found one from your harem. Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! God! Anyways, good to hear from you. But listen, find someone soon. It is nice to be married.

"Of course am happy. He is a sweet guy, yaar. Very sweet. First thing in the morning he makes tea for me, can you imagine that? He clears the dishes, pays the bills, everything! Miss him so much, poor guy.

"You got to go? Ok, will catch up sometime soon. And hey, thanks for calling. Yeah, take care, bye!


"Yeah, he came back two days ago. Yes, from Chandigarh. Do you ever pay attention when I talk? Achchha listen, am I disturbing you? Please let me know whenever you think is not the right time to talk. You are the busy man."

"Never too busy for me? Nice to hear that, Mr Flirt. But it is not going to work with me, ok? And don't forget, I am now a happily-married woman. Achchha, I am still curious to know why you haven't got married yet?

"Find a girl for you? Why should I do that? What happened to your harem? They all ditched you or what?

"Who will marry you, yaar! And you want me to find a girl for you! Have I gone mad or what? That poor girl -- she will come after me with a knife. But let's hear what kind of a girl you want.

"Ok... ok... go on, go on.. Ah, Smart, intelligent, well-read, sense of humour, same wavelength as you, and what else Mr Flirt?

"And good at sex? Ha! Ha! Ha! You can't think of anything beyond that, can you? Let me tell you, marriage is not all about sex. It is a lot more. I don't know if you will understand.

"Achchha listen, why I called was, I wanted to tell you not to call me after six.

"I know, I know you don't keep calling. Just telling you. After six he is back home. Looks a bit awkward.

"Yeah, he knows we talk once in a while. I tell him everything.


"I had thought I would never call you again. Never, never again. But stupid me.

"What do you mean by what happened? You should know what happened?

"Do you expect me to tell you everything? Do want me to say, 'Hey, it is my birthday, please wish me?' I thought you would call. See, I told you you never pay attention to what I say.

"What sorry? Fuck your sorry. No, no, no, this is unpardonable.

"No, no, no, don't darling me now. I am very pissed. You and your bloody work! I hate you!

"No, yaar, what does it take to make one call? You know he is not home at that time. Anyway, now I know you don't care.

"No, no, no, it's ok. Leave it. No, leave it.

"Now why do you want to know that? I am not telling you.

"No, why do you want to know what I did when you didn't even remember to call me?

"No, nothing much. We went out for dinner. He bought a cake. And guess what, he gave me diamond ear-rings. Can you believe that? Such a sweetheart he is. Anyways, it was your call I was waiting for.

"No, don't darling me now. I am very pissed."


Anonymous said...

What about the conversation you had with her, I meant only replies or anger has been penned, not what you had responded, anyway if it was an imagination, it proved to be a good reading with my evening cup of tea.

If it happens to be a real conversation, all I can say is Amen!!!

On the other hand, what a prolific writer you are huh!!!

Ardra said...

very, very real...can imagine the other side of the convo.
It would be very interesting to know the actual inner musings of the invisible side- while the convo is in progress as well as at other times...
very difficult to cage relationships within words and definitions, still curious...

Amrita Sabat said...

She is the sinner by encouargin the flirt & givin in 2 his & her own whims.
nt ur fault Mr.Flirt...............:P

Deepika Munot said...

Poor, insecure, sad little woman!! And actually not very happily married is she?!?! And she is hurting so much for not having the flirt try even once to seduce her!! Her unfulfilled fantasy!! he type of man she will warn her daughters about but would happily have surrendered to herself!!

Nush said...

Very interesting... Loved the flow :)

janani sampath said...

is she putting words in his mouth????

nice read.... i feel sad for Mr flirt :)

i like deepika's interpretation :)

Sunil Gupta said...

Very Interesting...atleast now i know WHAT SHE MEANS...LOL

Anonymous said...


i diagree with deepa.. she is not poor insecure sad little woman.. she is the one who wants attention from all the sides. who doesnot want to miss even the slightest recognition of her ... and there are millions....dont u fit in to this SM... every guy.. is it not..