"Get me just Sprite. You drink whatever you want to, drunkard that you are.
"And pick up a packet of chips if you want to. No, not for me, for you. And just before you take the turn you will find a grocery. Will you please pick up some custard powder? Sorry for the trouble...
"Oh, yes, yes, I know you will take all kinds of trouble today. His Excellency is coming with high hopes. Ha! Ha! Ha! Did I tell you that Amit is also coming? He will be here any moment.
"Hey, hello, don't be an ass. I was just kidding. Amit is not in town. Ok, will you just shut up and come?
"Stop this, will you? I love you, I love you... How many women do you say this to? They might fall for it but I won't, ok?
"Oh yeah? I am different? And to how many do you say that to? Hey listen, I don't have time for this rubbish. I need to hang up, I can smell the oil burning.
"Yes, that's my dad. That's my mom and me, and that's my Tippy. She's a pomerian. She's getting blind.
"No, I will get mine. I hate Gold Flake. I smoke only Classic, or I don't smoke. Ok, I'll have a drink with you. A very small one. But please don't drink too much. There's lot of food. The whole morning I was cooking.
"Excuse me! I cooked because you are coming for the first time, not because I love you. Get your head examined, man! And what is this love business? Grow up, man.
"Yes, I like you. Maybe I also admire you. But what's this love shit? You mad or what? Don't get ideas just because I am nice to you.
"There you sulk again. You are impossible, man. Now stop drinking, will you? The alcohol is getting to your head. Ok, you like R.D. Burman, don't you? I think I have some of his songs, let me check. This is your last drink, by the way. You are not getting anymore. Ha! Ha! Ha! What do you mean there is more! I've hidden the bottle. No, no, no, you can't look for it. No, you are not following me. No, you can't search my bedroom. No, please NO.
"These are some R.D. CDs. Back home I have a good collection of his Bengali songs. He would bring out an album every puja. You are not even listening to me. Ok, ok, I will get you your bottle. Drink and die. I will throw away the food.
"Amit is just a friend, yaar. He is not my boyfriend. Please, for heaven's sake, don't talk about that night. That night there was the whole bunch around. We didn't go to the disco alone. And even if we did, what is your problem? Don't tell me you are jealous. Even if you are, I give a damn.
"God, one more drink! What meaningful? We can have a meaningful conversation even while having food. Don't know when you will stop all this. Grow up, man? Don't think I will be after you all your life, telling you not to drink. I really pity your wife, whoever she will be.
"Oh I love this song. Rekha looks so gorgeous in the movie. Isn't it Ghar? And what's his name, yes, Vinod Mehra. How he blows the smoke on her face, and she lovingly takes it. Height of romance! Give me a drag, na.
"No, no, don't shift, just move your legs a bit. Yes! Badly need to stretch, been cooking the whole day. And cooking for someone who is not even bothered to eat! Ah, this is another lovely number, my all-time favourite. Aane wala pal jaane wala hai, ho sake to isme zindagi bitado, pal jo yeh jaane wala hai -- The moment that is going to come is also about to go, so why not live life in this moment since it is about to go. Yes, yes, I know you know the meaning. I was just thinking aloud.
"Making fun of me? I know very well that this moment I am in the arms of a drunkard. You don't have to remind me of that. Can you repeat the song, please? My hand won't reach there.
"Who told you I am crying? Sanjana never cries, do you know that? My eyes are just watery with all the cooking. Hey, I hope the prawn curry does not go bad. It's already, what, eight hours since I made it?
"Remind me to get the CD of Ghar. We will watch it together.
"Give me two minutes, I will just heat up the prawn curry and the daal. No, no, you won't like it cold. Give me just two minutes.
"Take some more rice, Mr Superman. You've worked really hard. You need the calories. Wait, I'll get the custard. It must be frozen by now. God, it is eleven!
"Stop it! Let me brush my teeth. God, aren't you tired of me by now?
"You are like a child when you sleep. You look so cute. Did anyone say that to you before? I kept pushing you off but your hand kept on reaching for me. I was up the whole night watching you. God, I love you so much!"