Sunday, December 04, 2005

Of Death And Orgasm

Imagine I am a very popular blogger who goes by the name, say, Wordsmith. Fellow bloggers don't know his personal details except that he is a Virgo and he works in the field of publishing. They, of course, know all about his personal life and love to read about it. Then one day Wordsmith dies. Will the fellow bloggers, for who Wordsmith had become more than a soulmate over the months, ever get to know he is dead?

I often imagine a similar scenario for people who make friends in chatrooms, something increasingly common these days. There are people who never fully give out their identities to each other but still are good friends: often to the extent of not being able to do without talking to each other. The heart says: "Go, meet that person." The head says: "No, don't do that. You like talking to that person, just stick to talking. Who knows what that person could be in real life?" I know people who are more than friends to me, who mean the world to me, but who, so far, have remained identity-less. If, God forbid, one of them dies suddenly, I will never get to know. And vice-versa. Only the messages and e-mails will stop coming, and I will keep wondering why.

By the way, will such a death be considered as the death of an electronic entity, or the death of a human being? That's another thing I wonder about.

Not all my wonderings are as morbid. It is just that in the past few weeks, especially past few days, I've spent a lot of time in what people call Blogosphere. Suddenly, there are a set of people who matter to me: what they think matters, what they say matters. It is like having a small, cosy office: you walk in and you see them all sitting in their cubicles. You say 'hi' to each and take your seat. If you find someone missing, you wonder: Where is he (or she)?

My second wondering, well, a few might find it morbid as well, but I can't help expressing myself. It's about sex. As in people having sex.

Many of us have grown up -- and there is no denying that -- watching at least a few porn movies, Western porn that is. And in these movies, the actors make a lot of sound. So much that even the distant neighbour would know what you are watching -- they all have the standard soundtrack. I don't wish to describe those sounds in detail but they are usually about the female asking the man to do it harder and then announcing that she is approaching an orgasm: "I am coming, I am coming. Don't stop now" sort of thing.

Now this is another area where the West has immensely influenced India. It is common for couples in India to make such sounds, especially the "I-am-coming type." Now don't ask me how I know that. But it is interesting to note that such sounds are made only in English. A couple might be speaking Hindi or Tamil or Kannada in their day-to-day life, but when they make love, they do it in English. Even the much-reiterated "I love you" is in English, leave alone the "I am coming-I am coming."

I guess the English language makes things far easier. You can say "Fuck!" and "Shit" a million times and get away with it. And can also say "Fuck you!" and "Up your ass!" and be considered cool. But try using the vernacular translation of these words and you could find yourself mouthing something outright dirty. Or risk getting beaten up. Why the discrimination?

That makes me wonder: how do couples who don't speak a word of English cope with the onset of orgasm? They obviously cannot say, "I am coming, oh, I am coming!" Perhaps they make that exclamation in their own language, whatever that may be. But try translating "I am coming, oh, I am coming!" into your mother-tongue. Doesn't it sound, well, a bit funny?

19 comments:

Johnny G said...

You raise a very interesting point and I am stunned that as I sit here in Alaska, drinking coffee and nursing a Sake hangover, some guy on the other side of the world is debating the linguistic influence of english speaking porn and I read about it and will no doubt discuss it further with my friends and perhaps I'll bookmark this blog but who knows. I think we all know life is extremely random but blogs put that randomness down in print and that boggles our monkey minds. Anyways, you write well, keep up the good work.

Bishwanath Ghosh said...

Johnny G: Can we trade places? Thanks for you comments, anyway. Cheers!

Usha said...

Two interesting points:
I have thought about this and now I have already arranged with someone who is supposed to log into my blog and post about my death when it happens. I have also given him a complete list of my emailcontacts and he is supposed to send outa group mail informing the same.
So you'd know when i am gone!!!

As for loud orgasms, I think it is alien to our culture - so non english speaking people may not need these words except perhaps guttural sounds. I do not know, I am guessing.

R! said...

"I often imagine a similar scenario for people who make friends in chatrooms, something increasingly common these days."

Very true! since technology has got people togteher, world is now a small place, but at the same time the options that it has to offer have become immense. If two people meet in cyber space, and get to talk..and continue to talk for months, years altogether, then surely there is much more than just curiosity or fun involved in the frndship/relationship. In that case, some tangible things such as, name, identity, age become irrelevant. One cannot touch or feel (as in tangible terms) everything...certain things are abstract...the why not include such a relationship also in that category...just like orgasm...which is beyond body, mind, or feeling...it defines that oneness...which we mortals long for...
R!

R! said...

Chehre par hai ek aur chehra, kaise usse hataun
Mera sach gar tum apna lo, janam janam tar jaun
Aise bas sachcha lagta hai…sab ka sab sapna lagta hai….
Probably this is what bothers in cyber space.. Of course I m not talking about me :-) ..I m talking about RD’s song… :-)

Bishwanath Ghosh said...

I think the same song also says, "Mujhe agar baahon mein bhar lo, shayad tumko chain miley.." Cyberspace, sadly, doesn't give you that option. It only makes you yearn.

visithra said...

well ive had experience of losing online friends to death - i blogged about it too because they still mean the world to me

the worse part is finding out later - n not knowing if u should go see the parents of a stranger by face a friend by words? I never went - i dont know how to explain i knew ur son but i never met him to a grieving parent

R! said...

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Atul Sabnis said...

Bishwanath: First time here and it was probably a 'date with destiny' that the first post i read was 'of death and orgasm'.

very interesting thought @ death. i coined a phrase for the chats, and ipods of the world. i call them isolation technologies. wrote something abt it at:
http://hexperiments.blogspot.com/2005/09/blog-post_12.html

Bishwanath Ghosh said...

Atul: Thanks a lot. Will certainly check that link out.

Usha: What morbid thoughts! You are going to be around as long as Blogosphere exists. It needs you, we need you, and we all love you.. :)

Usha said...

>:D<
Hey that was absolutely sweeeeeet.
But just in case I were to go, I would not want to go without saying bye to you all. and that's why!!!

moushmi said...

both the parts of the article makes a lot of sense...but i dont know why they were linked under the same post??!!!??

Bishwanath Ghosh said...

Moushmi: Thanks a lot. But they aren't two different articles; they are just two thoughts, albeit unrelated, that occurred to me at the same time.

Akruti said...

I started blogging a year back for my own reasons,but then after a few months i realised that its not only about writing now,Its about relationships,arguments,cribbing and sharing smiles and walking trhough this journey i made a few friends,Whom i wouldn anymore call blogmates,i call them friends for life.I know a few past 15yrs,whom i met and slowly turned into friendship and now i know a few past one year whom i met later but knew before. and No,i dont find much difference and maybe i was lucky.I had a few issues with people here and i would want to forget them,i ahd a few friends who broke away,But all this happened in my real life also.it all is in the Perception,right?I wouldn want to loose any of them and we keep in touch,and make sure that we meet eachother and in my case a few met my whole family and so did i.now they have an identity.The day i die,the day i leave blogging in silence { i might} the people who care and people whom i call friends here will know it for sure:)

Akruti said...

About the second part of your post,Sorry,i have no idea whatsoever.

Sharmishta said...

A few days ago, my fiance and I were discussing how to identify web users. There should be a way of identifying people, in case they would like to pass on any assets they have on the web after their death, micropayments, etc. Now I aint a techie, he is...and he's actually working on it....no solution yet, but when he does come up with something, will let u know.

And I frankly cannot imagine myself saying "Aami aaschi...aami aaschi" in bed :)

Bishwanath Ghosh said...

Sharmishta: That was funny! :)

Dr. Health said...

The heart says: Go, meet that person.

Dr. Health said...

Only the messages and e-mails will stop coming, and I will keep wondering why.