Monday, July 30, 2007

I am a Malayali

With no offence meant to my brethren from Kerala (some of my best friends belong to God's own country), presenting a clip I was forwarded a few days ago:

malayali.mp3

20 comments:

Adithya said...

Thanks... I am a Malayali :)

Shaji said...

quite amazing, thanks...

Gayathri Varma said...

Very hilarious!
It is understandable when you say some of your best friends are from Kerala, considering the stark similariites between Bengalis and Malayalis - political convictions, fiery idealism, strong intellectual/artisitc/philosophical leanings, to name a few.

RGB said...

To add further to the attributes of this charming and enterprising community.

1. What is the tax on a Mallu's income called ?
IngumDax.

2. Where did the Mallu study ?
In ko-lledge.

3. Why didn't the Mallu go to ko-lledge today ?
He is very bisssi.

4. Why did the Mallu buy an air-ticket ?
To go to Thuubaai, zimbly to meet his unggle in Gelff.

5. Why do Mallus go to the Gelff ?
To yearn meney

6. What did the Mallu do when the plane caught fire ?
He zimbly jembdd out of the vindow.

7. How does a Mallu spell moon ?
MOON - Yem Woh yet another Woh and Yen.

8. What is a Mallu management graduate called ?
Yem Bee Yae.

9. What does a Mallu do when he goes to America ?
He changes his name from Karunakaran to Kevin Curran.

10. What does a Mallu use to commute to office everyday ?
An Ooto

11. Where does he pray ?
In a Temble, Charch or a Maask.

12. What is the latest Mallu punch line ?
" Frem Tea Shops To Koll Cenders , We Are Yevery Where "

13. Why aren't Mallus included in hockey and football teams ?
Coz Whenever they get a corner, they set up a tea shop.

14. Name the only part of the werld, where Mallus don't werk hard ?
KERALA.

15. Why is industrial productivity so low in Kerala ?
Because 86% of the shift time is spent on lifting, folding and re-tying the lungi.

16. Why did Saddam Hussain attack Kuwait ?
He had a Mallu baby-sitter, who always used to say
'KEEP QUWAIT' 'KEEP QUWAIT'


Now pass it on to 5 Mallus to get a free sample of KOKANET OIL...
Pass it on 10 Mallus to get a free pack of BENANA CHIBBS...
Pass it on to 15 Mallus or more to get a set of BROGUN bones...

Anonymous said...

Hi BG,
It definitely doesn't speak well for you to have community-specific digs in your blog. And wish your reader "Rgb" would remember that there are jokes targeted at his community too, whichever that is. And if one starts doing it, one can churn a whole lot of jokes and digs aimed at every community in India - mallu, tallu, madrasi, bong, sardari or whatever. Pathetic that the spirit of 'regionalism' is stronger in our country than 'nationalism.' High time we all started identifying ourselves as Indians and not Bengalis or Tamilians or Punjabis.


A concerned Indian citizen (not a Keralite in case you are wondering!)

rgb said...

Sorry Bishwanath for taking the liberty to reply to the above comment .

A community specific blog is necessarily not targeted in highlighting the inadequacies rather it’s the observations confessed in the calmness of a Blog site.

Yes, I am aware of the jokes targeted at my community as well. At times I sulk, at times I agree and at times I enjoy. Being a BONG, I am aware of what I have and what my culture and intelligentsia still have, so I am ready to take the zest targeted at my community.
From communist party and its Decadent Marxism, from insistence on education and high % of literacy to its amazing cuisine lined on a fishy trail, Bongs and Mallus have lots in common. So I feel what they feel. Incidentally what I posted before in my comment was forwarded to me by a good humored friend from God’s Own Country.

And what Nationalism are we talking about? That had always been a pedantic notion and still exists in truest forms in the text books and scholastic circle of political philosophy. Even in Nationalist movement of India it wasn’t the entire country that was affected and took active participation.
Speaking of modern times, Regionalism isn’t strong ONLY in India.
Speakers of South American language suffers from more stigma and regionalized dig than we can think of. A strive to code-switch and adopt a neutral sounding English to wipe away their regionalized accent and life style is a job of life time for many.
There is a distinct dislike targeted at each other between people of Northern and Southern parts of France. And in Queen’s land where sun never sets, put a charming Irish in front a English and allow them to chat and see the regionalism flourish and sarcasm in its fullest bloom.

There are two ways of dealing with an issue. You can turn around and walk away pretending that you never saw it (which is a typical attribute of most of us) or you face it…brazen, take it raw and deal with it rather than running away.

Only when you point out and dig, there stands a chance to Arise and awake and change. It is better to laugh at oneself rather than let others laugh at you. Self sarcasm will breed resurrection.

Shameem Akthar said...

HIlarious:) I have so many mallu friends -- they will love this:)

Kary said...

Hi,

I'm a "mallu" and contrary to the beliefs of the good-intentioned anonymous writer a few posts above, I don't think any malayali with a good sense of humor and strong sense of self would take offense at the clip...I think it was brilliant and it had me falling of my chair in laughter. Any idea who created it?

pjk said...

In real Malyali people are not like other south indians.their kudi's are so beautiful.I always felt Malyalis belongs to north india.

BTW,the song is funny,i cant get what they are saying in Malyalam.

Dr Yohan Chacko said...

well glad you guys enjoyed this song. it was fun recording it. had us in splits. Dr Yohan Chacko (The Voice) Mr Ramesh Unni, Dr Jaison (The other voices)

Bishwanath Ghosh said...

Dr Chacko: You are a genius -- and I mean it! Look forward to more stuff from you.

joshua said...

"I am a malayali" creativity sammadichirikkunnu...just great...thanks

Anonymous said...

I yam ae Malayalee too..
Aaand vee daun teg yenee auffenz to zechh thingce.

Vee lauu itt ovurzelvce aand haav ae beeg laff..

Nadhing kummunal aeboud it.

Cheerce!
YTG

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Anonymous said...

RGB seems to come from a state where people speak impeccable Queens English

Anonymous said...

From what i understand this is the original version

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=makzkMCy9xk

Anonymous said...

Why the debate? Why waste words? You are right gayatri, Malayalis have political convictions, fiery idealism, strong intellectual leanings. What we dont have is the willingness to DO... If a malayali, or for that matter a bong, is caught between the devil and the deep blue sea, he will debate the pros and cons of jumping in or fighting the devil and do NOTHING... whereas a jat or a sikh wouldn't.... *&^( the northies, the pandis, the bongs and the chinkies... if you have a grouse kary... be ready to kill them. dont talk... just kill them. they are just normal people, just like us. they wouldnt hesitate to do the same to us. so eliminate them. its not a good thing to do...but the only way out of the mallu non-mallu debate

Boomboy said...

What happened to Shilpa shetty in the reality show? she is a northie and a non mallu..Jade goody killed indian english accent as a whole..y only mallus? go outside india and see how indians are hated by others..Kuwaitis spit on indian's faces..regardless mallu or non mallu...all u guys suck hard! Of course Dr. Chacko suckzzz

Anonymous said...

its so hilarious ! it shouldnt be taken heart...i am a malayaali and i find it funny.Come on, we are special in our own ways...and its and undeniable fact that malayalis are great people...its just for fun..by the way, thanks bhai..thanks....

Anonymous said...

Iam a Malayalee and don't take offence at these jokes, rather enjoy them myself.......I think that is the beauty of our country, we make jokes on various communities, enjoy them and still coexist in peace and love!!